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How I Found a Higher Power And How It Changed My Addiction

How I Found a Higher Power — And How It Changed My Addiction

  • A. O. Wagner
“Our system is clever—but perhaps it’s a little too clever. It looks like it can now predict which day the customer will die. Not only what day of the week, but the exact year and date on the calendar!”

This line from The Karma Sequence reflects more than a fictional plot—it echoes the precision with which addiction once ruled my life. What eventually broke that grip was not science, strategy, or even sheer willpower. It was something larger, something spiritual. It was the discovery of a Higher Power.

A Life in Motion

I grew up in a small village, surrounded by a secure and loving family. My early years gave me the perfect conditions for personal development. After high school, I worked in a factory and played in several bands—vocals, bass, keyboards—hoping music would become my path.

But after five years, my interests shifted. I moved from the countryside to the capital to co-found an animation company in Copenhagen and lived there for 28 years before relocating to Switzerland, where I’ve now lived for five.

In the late ’90s, I sold my share of the company and turned to internet and media development. I worked on exciting projects with some of Denmark’s leading media companies, including DR, the national broadcaster. My weekends were filled with parties, socializing with colleagues and media personalities. When there were no parties, I drank alone.

Losing Control

I didn’t drink to escape financial, social, or family problems. It just felt fun and comfortable. It also helped ease my shyness and allowed me to talk effortlessly—a skill that didn’t come naturally to me.

Over time, family and colleagues pointed out that my drinking was becoming problematic. After drinking through entire weekends, showing up for work on Monday became difficult. I began drinking during the week, too. Working from home for long periods made it easier to lose structure and control.

In 2013, my then-boss and my family confronted me. I was told I would lose both my job and our relationship unless I got treatment. I agreed. I had tried many times to cut back or find a balance, but always relapsed—sometimes after weeks, sometimes after months. That ultimatum hit at the same time as a personal realization: I had lost control. Alcohol had taken power over me.

Finding Recovery and Perspective

I found a treatment center in central Copenhagen and attended group meetings three times a week for three months. That same weekend, I had my last drink—and I haven’t touched alcohol since.

The treatment gave me tools, self-awareness, and an understanding of addiction’s mechanisms. I realized that alcohol had acted as a mood-altering substance. I associated it with happiness and high spirits. Over time, my body became physically dependent, unable to function without it. But the physical dependency disappeared within weeks. The bigger challenge was understanding the psychological patterns and aspects of my personality.

A core part of my recovery—both at the rehab center and in AA—was the Minnesota Model. It treats addiction as a disease requiring a holistic approach. One of its key principles is that alcoholics can never return to moderate drinking. Total abstinence is the only way. The model also emphasizes peer support, professional counseling, and spiritual growth—particularly belief in a Higher Power.

Spiritual Change

At many meetings, I noticed how reluctant people were to believe in something greater. In Denmark, spirituality and religion are often seen as outdated or ignorant—something educated people typically avoid. But spirituality became the most important part of my recovery.

When I was at my lowest—lying on my couch, sleepless and unable to eat—I had transcendent experiences. They revealed deep truths about life, the universe, and God. These moments are mirrored in what Dan, the main character in The Karma Sequence, experiences.

This insight has been essential in my recovery. I still call myself an alcoholic, because I know that even one drink would lead me back. But abstinence has become second nature, thanks in large part to my spirituality. It’s not a fight—it’s just who I am.
About The Author
A. O. Wagner

A. O. Wagner

A. O. Wagner is an author whose personal journey through addiction and spiritual awakening deeply influences his writing. Living a healthy life as a non-drinking alcoholic, he draws on his transformative experiences to shape stories that explore the human search for meaning. With a background in technology and a passion for philosophy and spirituality, Wagner weaves together deep thinking and personal growth in his work. In his debut novel, Book One of the Karma Kantata trilogy, he invites readers on a thrilling journey of discovery and purpose — get your copy HERE.
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A. O. Wagner

A. O. Wagner

A. O. Wagner is an author whose personal journey through addiction and spiritual awakening deeply influences his writing. Living a healthy life as a non-drinking alcoholic, he draws on his transformative experiences to shape stories that explore the human search for meaning. With a background in technology and a passion for philosophy and spirituality, Wagner weaves together deep thinking and personal growth in his work. In his debut novel, Book One of the Karma Kantata trilogy, he invites readers on a thrilling journey of discovery and purpose — get your copy HERE.
See All Posts
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